This is my little man. He is my reason for breathing and completes me, even on my worst day. Today my mind is on the simple things in life that enables us to push on when we'd actually just like to give up. He is one of those things for me. The question I've been pondering today is just as simple as the answer; what is the true key to leading a happy life? I'm learning that the things that make me happiest are the smallest, such as my 4ft tall lil man :) never does a day go by that he doesn't make me smile. It's time for people to just get back to living life the simple way. Enjoying life to the fullest with the ones who matter most, not the ones that matter to YOU most, but the people who that feeling is mutual with. We need to stop making people such big priorities or giving them so much of us if they don't do the same for us. I am speaking from experience when I say this. I made my sons father so important in my life that I had to learn how to function on my own when we parted ways. This is unacceptable behavior. Why give so much of yourself to someone who doesn't offer you the same consideration or give you the same love in return?
Now, as not just a woman, but also a mother, I am learning to accept the fact that I had an almost ten year relationship with a man who not only abused me physically, but also lied, cheated, didn't help out with his child and had the worse drinking problem I've ever seen at such a young age and I HAVE TO leave the negatives behind and hold onto the positive focuses in order to not only move on with my life, but also to be happy while I do it. My positives are the fact that now I know the signs of certain unwanted qualities in men so that next time I can leave quicker, I learned how to be a very independent mother, I learned how to treat and satisfy the right man (when he finally comes along) and I got a BEAUTIFUL, intelligent son who adores me. So see, even from ALL that negativity, there are positives to use later in life and to appreciate and cherish for years to come. I am now getting back to all of life's most taken for granted, unappreciated values.
My plan is to put all my energy into the positive things that give back that positive energy to me, such as my son, my writing and relaxation techniques such as meditation. So join me and let's start to live life the way it was intended, long and blissful. Take that walk you've been wanting to take. Get outside and active with your child/children, they'll love it and it'll be good for you as well. Go out on the town sometimes for a breather single moms we NEED that personal time to keep leveled and able to stay patient with our children. Stress is real, don't let life wrap you in it, nor ANY people you may be holding onto. I have been through sooo much this past year and I almost lost my health in the battle with stress. I have gone through hair loss, high AND low blood pressure, weight loss, tension and migraine headaches and recently placed on anti anxiety meds for anxiety attacks. I have been letting my seemingly hopeless search for work, anticipation to get back in school, non-factor ex, an no longer having my own car and apt and problems within my family tear me down, but no more. I am going to strive as hard as possible to get what I want in me and my sons life accomplished and deal with these issues with a smile on my face and a leap in my step. Not because they don't hurt or bother me, but because WORRYING and feeling down about them does me NO good. All I can do is try until I succeed because giving up is easy, but not fulfilling nor acceptable for me.
Go back to the mindset of a child if you have to. When EVERYthing was an awe and made you feel all warm inside. Stop just rushing about your day, worrying and complaining. Stop for a second to acknowledge nature, as gay as that may sound lol, just do it! Sit out on your front stoop or balcony and listen to the birds chirping. Watch the trees swaying gently. As pathetic as it sounds, it IS calming and refreshing. And once you have managed to get the serenity you need to regain your sanity, get productive! If I want to be in school again, I have to pay $400. So, with no job and a growing child to take care of alone should I let that depress me into discouragement?? NO! I'll use that as my motivator. EVERY pain and every hardship can be used as a stepping stone. So get to using them as such. I plan to keep applying myself until it pays off and use whatever resources available and necessary to assist. I won't give in to stress, I'm going to let it fuel my drive. I'm a writer, so I'll use that as well an write away my fears, my anxiety and my worries right here and in my poetry books. I hope the parts I give here can help touch at least ONE person. I know it can be rough, trust me, but its all tangible if you're willing to keep reaching for it. Somebody told Michael Jordan he was a lousy basketball player who would NEVER make it, but he kept reaching. :) So, look up at the stars tonight and just breathe deeply or play some soothing music and be thankful for everyday and live them in happiness to the fullest because they're not promised so why waste them? LIVE, LOVE LIFE. :)
