For the first time in months I find myself wide awake, with worries in my mind and a heavy heart. Wanting to reach out to the unforgivable, unattainable yearning that was allegedly forgotten and made a stranger to me  I now feel holding me. Gripping my being with a cold embrace I know all too well,  but bury deep.  Far beneath my surface so none of you will ever see that which is me.  That which is an abomination, a shame to let fly from my lips these feelings,  so here I am. Me and my pen alone once more, for another non judgmental session where I lay out my thoughts... without embarrassment. Where I allow my heavy heart to leak from my eyes, where I let my tears meet my obsession, meshing into blurred ink. Here is where I stand, this is my confession.